Remember lap giraffes? Dan thought they were real, and was greatly disappointed it was a hoax. He wanted one. He wanted to have a 3 foot giraffe that followed him around the house and begged for grapes. Meanwhile Jerry wanted either a pocket rhino (is that what you kids call it nowadays?) or a giant platypus you can ride. They also talk about the episode of How I Met Your Mother that had a scene about absinthe, a thing called “Kudu-lah Critters,” and reminisce about the good days of Team America: World Police. They also release the findings from an online poll they conducted about which absinthe is the most popular, and Dan gives us another edition of Absinthe News.