If you have a great idea, run with it NOW

We titled this from a very small portion of the episode, but if you take nothing else away from listening (or don’t listen to this episode at all) just remember that bit. Both Dan and Jerry touch upon ideas they had but DID NOT run with, and someone else did — and that’s why Jurassic Park is by Micheal Crichton and not Jerry Davis. Absinthe-wise, Jerry is still confused about Versinthe. Is/was it absinthe or a pastis? There’s conflicting information out there, but regardless Jerry thought it was pretty darn good … whatever it was. Beside that, the boys talk coffee, gold panning in New York City, anxiety from low absinthe levels, and a beautiful model named Caroline Madison who is half Asian, and has naturally blazing red hair (we featured her as our “absinthe fairy” once, back in 2011).

Get Down Funky Like a Furry Gibbous Monkey

We know it should probably be “Gibbon” monkey but that’s not the way it came out, all those years ago. What the heck are we talking about? You’ll have to listen to find out. Besides that foolishness, Dan gives a barside review of Haint Absinthe, and Jerry follows suite with his recent barside experience with something called Nain Rouge Absinthe. Other absinthes touched upon in one way or another are State 38’s Damn Good Absinthe (which, unfortunately, doesn’t appear to be too damn good), Oregon Spirit Absinthe Original, and Fish Creek Green Fairy.

Zombies on Rainbows

This episode features La Sorcière Absinthe Supèrieure Verte and Grande Absente reviews from 2011. This is news to Jerry as he has no memory of ever trying Grande Absente, let along liking it. Side note: apparently in Stockton California all absinthe is kept behind glass so that it doesn’t escape. Also, Dan and Jerry discuss tasteful garden zombies, and the fact that you can get a Harley Davidson fountain pen.

Yes, you can make absinthe at home, but…

“If you cross-breed a cow with a buffalo … you really have to convince that cow, you know.” That’s a line from a song used in this episode. Does it have anything to do with absinthe? Not really. Does it have something to do with Dan and Jerry. YES. But besides that, the boys talk about being pissed off at Microsoft, about Star Trek (but it has nothing to do with absinthe), about being in a car with a girl while another car is pointing guns at the car in front of you (that really happened) and about how some people do make absinthe at home using a technique much akin to making a pot of tea … but using alcohol instead of water.

Coffee and Absinthe … oh my!

It’s like coffee and absinthe were made for each other … but will it go with Jade absinthe? And will Jade go with champagne? Jerry finds out. Also, Jade gets back to Jerry about a cork issue, and Dan talks about an article filled with such misinformation about absinthe that it puts the “anus” in “heinous.” Aaaand there’s some personal sharing going on. But it’s okay, they trust you.

I Don’t Know … THIRD BASE!

Jerry learned something important from his recent absinthe emergency: how to NOT open a bottle of Jade. Meanwhile Dan is laughing because Jerry has a blood test in the morning and so can’t have anything to eat or drink after a certain time, and that time is coming up in 15 minutes … so Jerry has to down his glass of absinthe very quickly. There are consequences to this.

Soylent Absinthe Green

Once upon a time, this was Dan’s desk…

Jerry doesn’t know what or how he screwed up but apparently this episode was supposed to be named “Smells Like Teen Absinthe,” not the last one. That’s not the only thing he screws up — he can’t cook chicken without making himself sick, and he experiments with a new drink during the recording which may or may not kill him. He and Dan also discuss numerous things you DO NOT WANT TO DO with absinthe. And in this episode, you get to hear the origins of how Dan came to know and love creepy dental phantoms. Being that this is a retro episode, portions were recorded in 2019, mixed in with recordings made in 2011.

Smells Like Teen Absinthe

Beer butts and torch lighters. Lip floss. Absinthe News. Zombies. This episode has it all! Also, for any horror fans out there, check out www.horroraddicts.net because not only is Ems a friend of Jerry’s, but their latest anthology contains one of Jerry’s works of apocalyptic science fiction. Also in this episode: Jerry finds Germany pretty much absinthe free, which means he was in the wrong part of Germany. Dan tells us about things that you’re not supposed to be able to take on airplanes, but he accidentally did. The hilarity of leaving yourself a message on Google Voice and then having Google tell you what it thinks you said. Music featured on this episode is from Jim’s Big Ego, and Antony Raijekov

Psychedelic Jellyfish and Mister Jaws

Road trips to nowhere, absinthe by diving enthusiasts, strange and awesome bars in faraway places, and bartenders who still think absinthe is either illegal or “not the real thing.” All this and more on this brand new episode recorded August 13, 2019. Music at the end is by Shpongle.