Your date is better in your pie and your porridge than in your cheek; and your virginity, your old virginity, is like one of our French withered pears: it looks ill, it eats drily.
Our special guest on this episode is a 3000-year-old mummy. Little did he know his afterlife would be so “Meh.”
Dear future listeners, welcome to the Green Hour with Dan and Jerry… the podcast formally known as Slow Death in the Afternoon. The episode you’re about to hear was originally recorded in August 2011, and it just so happens Dan and I talk about the CDC releasing their guide to preparing for the zombie apocalypse. Being that Jerry recorded the intro in the midst of the 2020 Covid-19 pandemic … it seems rather appropriate.
Change is in the wind. Our podcast’s name is going to gently morph into “The Green Hour with Dan and Jerry” mainly because it would probably be easier to get guests to join us for that, than for a “Slow Death in the Afternoon.” In this episode Jerry is sipping on a Death in the Afternoon Cocktail made with Cooks Brut and Kubler while he and Dan talk about absinthe in Montana, self-improvement by getting out of your own way, and green fairies who like to get naked for you. (There is absolutely nothing wrong with that as long is that is what they genuinely want to do.) Plus, Jerry and Dan both get into some TMI for hopefully everyone’s benefit. No pain no gain.
Mephisto Absinthe Review. Tattoo ideas. Old fat Elvis paintings on black velvet. Earthquake stories. Giraffe curling. And, how good are zombies at washing cars?
Dan tells a tale of phantasmagoria while Jerry sips Jade 1901 and listens in fascination about demons, murders, and what old-timey people used to do before there were horror movies. There is also a tale of murder that was blamed on absinthe, and which started the worldwide ban on absinthe back in the day … even though most likely it should have been blamed on wine.
Season two premier episode, featuring a song about absinthe written by artificial intelligence, Dan giving his initial taste test and review of Tenth Ward Absinthe, and Jerry takes us through a bizarre history of alcoholic beverages used as medicine since before the year 7000 B.C. Also, the boys touch upon the subject (again) of making your own absinthe at home.
It’s Dan’s birthday! So what does he want? A funeral?!? Yes, that’s what he wanted, so that’s what we gave him. A comedy funeral “roast” hosted by none other than the one and only Mike McShane. That, and a bunch of bottles of absinthe. So a huge shoutout to longtime friend Mike (we can’t tell you how much we love this guy) for being the Master of Ceremonies, and thanks to longtime friend and Slow Death in the Afternoon listener Jeff for being there as well, and also to old and dear friend Dave for participating all the way from Australia. Also a HUGE shout out to all Dan’s friends, too many to name here, and also since Jerry is the one typing this, he can’t remember any of their names. Except for Becky (who is the ultimately awesome girlfriend by the way, and Dan is an extremely lucky dude to have her in his life). Video can be found on our website at absithepodcast.com or on our Facebook page. Also, note to Dan: please don’t drink absinthe in Hell. Remember it’s flammable.
Greetings to all future peoples from us here in the distant past! This mostly retro episode of the podcast features glasses with fricken’ lasers, holiday shopping woes, and discussions about how you know when a Hollywood franchise is on its last leg when they suddenly set it “in space.” The boys also pose the question to you, the listeners: Have you ever had a psycho x?
Why probably? Because we don’t really know. Dan is super busy with local shows for his day job for the rest of December 2019, and while Jerry may have a substitute guest host lined up, that also is not a for sure thing. Other than that, what can you expect from this episode? Well, how would you like to be a double-secret absinthe counter spy? You might be one right now and not even know it! Be careful with that pen you have no memory of ever touching before because if you push the button on the top you may release a weapon of mass drunkenness. If all this wasn’t enough of a train wreck, Jerry uses his amazing psychic powers to channel the spirit of the first human to ever suckle a cow.