Coffee and Absinthe … oh my!

It’s like coffee and absinthe were made for each other … but will it go with Jade absinthe? And will Jade go with champagne? Jerry finds out. Also, Jade gets back to Jerry about a cork issue, and Dan talks about an article filled with such misinformation about absinthe that it puts the “anus” in “heinous.” Aaaand there’s some personal sharing going on. But it’s okay, they trust you.

I Don’t Know … THIRD BASE!

Jerry learned something important from his recent absinthe emergency: how to NOT open a bottle of Jade. Meanwhile Dan is laughing because Jerry has a blood test in the morning and so can’t have anything to eat or drink after a certain time, and that time is coming up in 15 minutes … so Jerry has to down his glass of absinthe very quickly. There are consequences to this.

Soylent Absinthe Green

Once upon a time, this was Dan’s desk…

Jerry doesn’t know what or how he screwed up but apparently this episode was supposed to be named “Smells Like Teen Absinthe,” not the last one. That’s not the only thing he screws up — he can’t cook chicken without making himself sick, and he experiments with a new drink during the recording which may or may not kill him. He and Dan also discuss numerous things you DO NOT WANT TO DO with absinthe. And in this episode, you get to hear the origins of how Dan came to know and love creepy dental phantoms. Being that this is a retro episode, portions were recorded in 2019, mixed in with recordings made in 2011.

Smells Like Teen Absinthe

Beer butts and torch lighters. Lip floss. Absinthe News. Zombies. This episode has it all! Also, for any horror fans out there, check out because not only is Ems a friend of Jerry’s, but their latest anthology contains one of Jerry’s works of apocalyptic science fiction. Also in this episode: Jerry finds Germany pretty much absinthe free, which means he was in the wrong part of Germany. Dan tells us about things that you’re not supposed to be able to take on airplanes, but he accidentally did. The hilarity of leaving yourself a message on Google Voice and then having Google tell you what it thinks you said. Music featured on this episode is from Jim’s Big Ego, and Antony Raijekov

Psychedelic Jellyfish and Mister Jaws

Road trips to nowhere, absinthe by diving enthusiasts, strange and awesome bars in faraway places, and bartenders who still think absinthe is either illegal or “not the real thing.” All this and more on this brand new episode recorded August 13, 2019. Music at the end is by Shpongle.

Quantum Weirdness with Random Giraffe Sounds

More lap giraffes? What is Faux Tuesday? How can Jerry be in two places at once? Who in the heck would put ice cream in beer, and why? All these questions are asked and never really answered in Episode 28 of Slow Death in the Afternoon Podcast … because we’re talking about absinthe while drinking absinthe. That’s why.

Johnny Quest in Margaritaville

This one is a little bit Doctor Who — we barrow a TARDIS and spy on ourselves as we come up with the idea for this podcast. Also covered is the question: Are crazy people really crazy, or are they just seeing things that we can’t see? Dan tells about having actual real cougars in the office; having a “as seen on TV” 70’s disco hot tub installed; Earthquakes and Hazmat Suites (we almost made this the title); HP Lovecraft, and old horror movies in Dan’s collection. Also Dan tells us how to get a government job, and our good friend David in Australia tells us about Skippy the bush kangaroo.

Absinthe Brands to Avoid, and Good Absinthe connected to Famous Artists

It’s wormwood (what else would it be?)

Remember Buddy Hackett? Dan does. We also remember the Kentucky Fried Movie, or at least the nude scenes. Besides that, Jerry and Dan go over some absinthe brands to completely avoid (and a major shoutout to Brian at the Wormwood Society website who reviewed them), then drift off into talking about absinthe brands we like that are connected to artists. Other topics include Dan’s all time favorite horror movie, some of Jerry’s favorite music, and what if Woody Allen had been cast as Darth Vader? We also touch upon the possibility of having an actual ghost as a guest on the show.

As promised in the episode:

Yes, we know… in today’s day and age, this is racist. But Jerry loves the font.
“You’re so pretty… too bad you have to die.” – Tourist Trap

Plug it in to the UFO Port

Recorded July 17, 2019, in this episode we reveal why we like Lucid now way, way more than we used to (hint: Ted Breaux himself let us know why); we reveal what Jerry learned in his cocktail class given by the master mixologist Alex Ryser; and we discuss how exactly people storming Area 51 can interface their MacBooks with alien computers. Also: Absinthe drink of the month (thank you Mario!), the pros and cons of rebooting Spiderman, and finally how awesome a song can be when none of the musicians don’t even know they’re contributing to a song (hint: it’s all in the editing). PLEASE NOTE: to Jerry’s employer, he is not smoking marijuana. But please consider being lenient when it is finally legal in his state of residence? Thank you! (Also thank you to Ted Breaux and Mario, shout outs to you! Also thank you to Alex Ryser for being the master mixologist and teacher that he is.)

We had to include this as we talked about it in the episode.